The next few photos I found in the folder were taken on Friday January 24th revealing a sunny day at Point Chevalier beach. High tide was at 1.39pm, a lovely time for a swim as the incoming tide warms up the water a bit as it creeps shoreward over sun baked sand.
Heavy heart today. It is difficult to put into words without slipping into cliche, or overdoing it. But I thought of quite a good way of describing ‘the dumping‘. He took me on a long walk up a steep hill in order to share a beautiful view with me. We walked for a while and he assured me it would be worthwhile. I had doubts, but took his word for it and kept going. We arrived at the destination he had chosen. He was right. We walked to the edge of a high cliff to take in the expansive view. He was holding me as we stood there, relaxed, transfixed on the wonders of the world. Then he pushed me off the cliff. And as I don’t have a particularly strong safety net of family support, I crashed right down and smashed to bits on the rocks below.
This clifftop situation links back to when my parents did a similar thing, but without the view. They just pushed me off the cliff, so to speak, but I wasn’t even on a cliff, more like a kerb. The pushed me into the gutter, rejecting and abandoning me for the best part of a year when I was 17 years old. But, in fact, I had been abandoned emotionally many years earlier but didn’t realise it. Trying to get emotional support from parents who don’t give it really is like banging your head against a brick wall. Emotional support is more-or-less invisible, so you don’t really know when you are not getting it because you can’t understand why and don’t believe there are parents who won’t provide it. But emotional support is one of the simplest things in the world. All it involves is actually listening to someone, taking notice of them, keeping them in mind. My mother is expert at assumptions. Assumptions kill relationships, all relationships. Emotional support erases assumptions. Assumptions erase emotional support. It is that simple.